The MOMMillusion begins!

     Have you ever had one of those days where you wish your hair would just fall out so you don’t have the urge to fucking pull it out? life and times of the pregnant house mom. The 20 month old little terrorist boy temper tantruming on the floor, the baby girl in the belly making you wanna shit yourself with her minute kicks to the cervix, but I wanted this right? Don't we all watch those wonderful shows that portray motherhood, marriage, life... death being so wonderful and bliss like, then it happens to us mere mortals. The glowing skin of the pregnant woman, which is actually her face boiling with the urge to go all hulk on some ones  ass, or the wonderful smile the family has as they walk down the street, husband, kids. that smile... yeah... that smile is what is stopping mommy from swearing at the top of her lungs at every little annoyance, well maybe not stopping, but how well can you really say "stop fucking doing that!", with a damn nice hard smile on? Wonderful start to a story eh? Well if you’re not a hoity - toity bitch that gets everything she’s wanted from the time she was in utero your days go like this sometimes, well most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family to death but sometimes I really enjoy entertaining the  thought of there being life on mars at which they come down, abduct me and probe the shit outta me. Happy, happy joy joy!

     You know, half the days I’m super mom, wash the dishes, clean the house, and play stupid games with the boy. The other half it seems like Satan is running threw my veins. I don’t know if I’m just crazy or if every mom goes through this crap, but of course no one will talk about it because if you vocalize your utter frustrations and well at sometimes complete hate for your life as a parent, god may smite you with a fucking thunderbolt or something, or just as bad, a dumb bitch may report you to CPS as a negligent psycho hose beast who hates your kids... or something to that regard. I hate how being a young mother can make you feel so isolated and alone, when I thought it would bring me closer to people, other moms, mom and tot germ fest... ahhhhelm, I mean play dates. All the mothers I meet at the park or the train station for that matter would never mention the time you watch your son slowly sticking his finger into the fan while you think to yourself, "At least if he hurts himself we would have something to do today." or again, is that just me? Why do we as people, mothers, have to be so fake, so "my kid is the cutest, bestest, smartest and I never get annoyed with him EVER!"? I do however, out of pride and sheer vanity, think that my son is the custest, bestest, smartest but I also at times find him to be the most annoying and goofiest dude out there. Being a super mom is like the myth of Hannah Montana, half wonderful rich perfect bitch, but beyond all that she’s just a normal everyday loser.

Well thats how I saw my world today,

       stick around for more hopeless shenanigans.